Boundaries

*Tweet!* “Back off, Creep!”

When I mentioned on Facebook the other day that I seem to be running into a lot of people lately who have no concept of boundaries, a friend commented that I should carry a ref’s whistle around with me.

I just might have to do that.

I blame Facebook and Twitter. (Now before you jump all up in my face, I have an account on both of those networks. I like them. BUT) For some odd reason people have taken these lovely means of communication and taken them to the realm of TMI. (That means ‘too much information’ for those of you like me, who are a bit, um, behind on stuff like that.)

I’m not sure when or why people decided that sharing intimate details of your life was appropriate online. But they did, and in most cases people don’t care what you had for lunch, that you are bored at 1 am (when you should really be in bed), or that your job sucks. We don’t care. 

We don’t care online, and we don’t care offline. In fact, things being shared online that are TMI have somehow made the transition to real life. You meet a complete stranger and they start talking to you, telling you things you never wanted to know and asking you questions you never will answer. It makes for a whole lot of discomfort and awkward. (If you are currently thinking, “I never feel awkward” you are one of these people making the rest of us feel uncomfortable and awkward. Seek help before you cross paths with me.)

I’ve had people over the past two months ask me if I’m married, why I’m not married, do I have a boyfriend,  then leer creepily at me every time I happen to be in the same room, read my computer over my shoulder, comment to other people that I wear cowboy boots so I must hang out at the local bar, assume I’m something I’m not then try to use the apology to get a date, announce to a group that I'm actively online dating (as of right now this one is not true) and so on and so on. 

Basically, these people have taken the phenomenon of sharing TMI online and offline,  and asking me questions that would lead me to give them TMI. And I don’t do that. I know how stalkers operate thanks to a job at a Domestic Violence shelter. I know to listen to my gut feelings about people, thanks to Gavin DeBecker. And I carry pepper spray and know how to defend myself thanks to Lieutenant Hirschi at the USU RAD class. 

To put it bluntly, my personal life is none of your business, especially five seconds after I’ve met you. And yes, I did end up using some of the self-defense skills I learned in my RAD class on one of these people. In church. 

Back off creep.

(I have a feeling that if some people other than my 5 wonderful followers happens upon this post, I might experience some backlash. Yes, I have a blog where I talk about my life somewhat. But I give a whole lot of thought to what I share here. In fact, I have a specific time frame that I wait before posting things like where I travel, just to avoid things like creepy stalkers showing up places. I make sure to never mention specifically where I live, or use the real/full names of people in my posts. So, if you want to criticize me for sharing things via a blog, go ahead. But I’m not invading your private life asking you personal questions.)

(PS. To quote Middle-aged Mormon Man , I reserve the right to delete any comments that are negative or use language that is offensive. My blog, my rules.)