I have fabulous hair. I know, that sounds stuck up, prideful, whatever you want to call it. But I do. While I was blessed with great genes in many respects, I feel I really hit the jackpot with the hair. I have the Taysom hair. It’s straight and super thick.
But we have a love-hate relationship. I love that I have such great hair, but I rarely feel like it’s obeying me. It drives me nuts. I know it’s time to cut it when it becomes nearly intolerable, or I look like a homeless person when I look in the mirror at the end of the day.
It’s beautiful hair, but there’s a lot of it. To give you a better idea, I blow dry it about ten minutes before I give up (and yes, it is give up). That’s enough to get the front mostly dry, and the rest to stop dripping water.
I had gotten to the point that it was driving me nuts. So I asked around and got recommendations for hairdressers in my area. One name came up repeatedly so I made an appointment. I had some expectations here, due to me being a bit picky about my hair even though I’m usually frustrated by it.
There were warning signs. First the hairdresser did not ask me about my hair care routine. I don’t use product on my hair, I rarely use things like the flat iron or curling iron. I wash and go, there is no such thing as styling in my life. Second, I gave one criteria for the cut, that a certain length be taken off of it. Third, she took me to wash my hair and left me multiple times, with my head in the sink, shampoo in the hair, to talk with another employee and coo over a baby.
We talked a little more about what she would do with my hair. Granted I usually leave the haircut pretty open ended, a hairdresser should know what would look good or not with my hair, it’s what they are paid to do after all. She commented on how much hair I had, which is a normal occurrence when I get my hair done. But it usually happens at what I know to be the halfway point in the haircut, not at the beginning, even though I warn the hairdressers. She mentioned something about taking some of it off, which I smiled and said ‘yes’ to because I had asked her to take a certain amount off.
She started cutting. I noticed that she didn’t cut off nearly as much as I had asked her to, but decided to go with it. She put in some layers, a lot more than I usually get, but she was the professional and I figured it would look good. Besides it’s only hair. Then she pulled out the thinning scissors. I knew what they were because I had them used on my hair before. Minimally. This lady went to town. I could tell she was going farther than I wanted or expected. I knew she was doing too much. But I didn’t say anything, because she’s the professional, and knew what she was doing. When all was said and done, I felt like I had chopped my hair off, even though it was basically the same length that we had started out with.
I can wrap the ponytail holder around three times now. It’s usually a struggle to get it around twice, and three times is a guaranteed migraine. I got home and all I could think was:
That lady stole all of my beautiful hair!
But there’s nothing I can do about it, it’s over. I just have to do what you do when you get a ‘bad’ haircut, wait for it to grow back. Now, my haircut looks great, and no one would even know the difference in the thickness of my hair except for me. But it still happened, and I know it happened.
So we come to the point where I try to glean a life lesson out of this experience.
First off, I learned that you should always be sure to know what the other person in a situation expects and wants. A lot of the jobs I’ve held hinge on my ability to connect with and understand the people I work with. I need to know their personalities, expectations, and values. This way I can be sure to get them what they need and want out of the experience. This hairdresser kind of did this, but not enough to know not to plaster me with hairspray and steal all my hair.
Second, warning signs were there from the beginning. I let them slide. I now have no hair.
Third, I didn’t speak up when I should have. I just let things be until it was too late. Now I have to wait for things to straighten themselves out again.
Fourth, she came highly recommended. Everyone who used her loves her. I trusted them ( and I still trust them) but I didn't do enough research of my own to make the decision. The warning signs were there, but I let them slide because everyone else seemed to love her so much.
This can be applied to lots of things, like picking the right friends, sinning (yes I had to mention it), and things like relationships. (On this last one Gavin deBecker wrote a book called “The Gift of Fear” all about this type of thing).
But, like most experiences in life, this happened the way it happened for a reason. I had told myself I would wait to cut my hair until after I knew what I was doing for the summer. But, couldn’t wait because it was driving me nuts. The fact that the hairdresser did not take off as much as I wanted it good, because I’m still unsure what I will be doing this summer, and if I end up doing one option, I want my hair longer. It wouldn’t be there if she had done what I asked her to. As for the thinning, well, it just is what it is. When it grows back it will be my natural color, which is something I’ve been trying to get it to be for over a year now (It’s too expensive to keep up with the coloring). I figured if I kept cutting it off bit by bit, it would be fine. But, thinning, with all the hair she took, that hair growing back will get me a lot closer to that desire.
So, next time you go to the hairdresser, beware.
And maybe remember these ‘life lessons’ next time you have a decision to make. If that will help you, you know.
If I were to try to curl my hair now, it would probably look really good.