And Now: Day 11

After my little rant yesterday I went to the Whole30 online community. Actually, I just googled "Quitting Whole30".

Turns out that days 10 and 11 are the days when most people quit, or want to quit. So there we go, the first Whole30 timeline item that I actually fit into the norm with. I still really want to stop, but figure I will hang in here for a few more days in the hopes that the promised energy levels will appear.

The super difficult part of this yesterday was making my husband's lunches for his first two shifts of the week. I usually eat a piece of cheese or two while making them. And I couldn't. I sat for a moment looking at the cheese crumbs in my hand and had a moment of silence for them before putting them in the garbage instead of my mouth.

I stocked up on chicken, added to the fish I bought last week we should be okay for the rest of Whole30. But of course, I underestimate my husband's ability to pack away food almost every time we eat. From here on out I should only need to pick up some minor meat items, like the compliant hot dogs I found and use for breakfasts and the 'bacon' I found too. I haven't tried that yet, so if it's gross it won't appear in our fridge again.

Finally, I saw that a lot of people were talking about how their stomach hurt and they were having a lot of stomach issues. Yet NO ONE suggested making the meals smaller and having snacks. While this is working for me, it also makes me a little concerned that no one else has discovered this. Is the no snacking rule really that rigid?

A "Healthy Psychological Relationship with Food"

I'm on Day 10 of Whole30 and I've noticed some things about the effects so far of the program.

I no longer have the crazy gastric symptoms I was having last week. Which I am so grateful for. I still feel exhausted almost constantly. I plan on starting some mild exercise this week to see if that will help, along with being more strict on my getting to bed routine.

I do not feel sick after I eat anymore, for the most part. I never really ate a whole lot of proteins or veggies for breakfast, because they made me sick. I still feel a little residual of this each morning after eating, and think that part of the diet will go rather quickly back to my smoothie or a bread based food (cereal, waffles, muffins, etc). I've completely abandoned the "no smoothie rule". Why? Because I constantly feel hungry, but when I sit down to eat a legitimate meal, my body can't handle the amount of food Whole30 says I should be ingesting at each meal. I have to break it down a little or I will be right back where I was last week, sick with no 'real' reason to call in to work.

Now, here's the biggest beef I have with the program. They constantly refer to breaking your old unhealthy psychological food habits and creating a new "healthy psychological relationship" with food. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. In fact, I feel like the exact opposite is happening. I mean, is it 'psychologically healthy' to nearly burst into tears when my husband points out that I can't eat the croutons on my salad? NO! And it's not because I binge on croutons and they're causing psychological damage when I eat them (which only happens in restaurants btw).

I don't think it's 'psychologically healthy' for me to spend most of my day really, REALLY wishing I could have a single mini-blueberry muffin, or a roll, or a single freakin' tortilla. I've suddenly become OBSESSED with food! I spend a lot of time consciously avoiding looking at the reeses or daydream about pancakes, which I don't eat very often in the first place. Then get super frustrated and angry that I can't have just one. I should not start crying just because someone said my relationship with croutons and restaurant rolls is 'unhealthy'. Nor should I cry when I think about Sunday morning waffles and realize that I let someone else tell me that they aren't 'good' for me psychologically.

According to Whole30 if I have so much as a lick of a Reeses, my brain and body will react in the same way a drug crazed addict's will respond. I will suddenly uncontrollably eat all the sugar and 'junk' food in sight. Then drive to the store to buy and eat more!

This is ridiculous! Rice is not going to kill me! A tortilla won't send me into a spiral of binge eating, self loathing, and suddenly feeling horrifically sick and magically being fat.

While I am trying, really trying to keep this attitude in check, it's really difficult. And I honestly don't think I've had, or ever will have,  a "unhealthy psychological relationship" with food. I enjoy food, but once I'm full, I'm full and I stop. This diet still promises great things, but I feel that the emphasis on 'psychology' is a bit much for people like me.

(If you made it through the post, I thank you very much for allowing me to rant.)